top 10 reads of 2019

I know we’re a few weeks past the end of 2019, but I made this “Top 10 Reads” list last year and wanted to make sure to do it again this year—mostly because it’s fun for me to recap!  I made it through 23 books in 2019, so the list was very difficult to narrow down.  It also turned out to be a bit eclectic…

Like last year, three amazing novels made the Top 10—two repeat authors, too (what can I say?  Fredrik Backman and Kristin Hannah have a gift).  I read plenty of others, but there were so many good non-fictions that needed mentioning, I couldn’t pass them up!  Several books came out of the last classes I took for seminary (woo!), so they lean theological, if you’re into that.  The others are life-focused and a bit random.  Two even touch on some “controversial” topics (i.e. sex…), but are worth every minute.    

Again, these are in no particular order and not necessarily published in 2019… it’s just when they made it onto my nightstand.  
Hope you enjoy!

1.  God Over Good: Saving Your Faith by Losing Your Expectations of God, by Luke Norsworthy

“When we relinquish expectations, we can move to acceptance and awareness of the God who doesn’t reside in the box of our expectations, but in all.”

2019 kicked off for me with a book that had been a Christmas gift from a dear friend—and man, was it a solid way to start the year.  As a pastor out of Texas, this was Norsworthy’s first published book [in addition to his weekly podcast called “Newsworthy with Norsworthy”] and it was a smashing success!  As an MDiv student I can get snooty and skeptical about books like this (clearly not my best quality), but the writing was honest, refreshing, and surprisingly funny.  He uses great stories and metaphors to talk about how we approach God and the expectations we put on faith, and how often these lead to disappointment.  I found myself relating a lot to his experiences of doubt, but also in the end, to his embrace of a God who is a whole lot bigger than our expectations. 

2.  American War, by Omar El Akkad

“It seemed sensible to crave safety, to crave shelter from the bombs and the Birds and the daily depravity of war.  But somewhere deep in her mind an idea had begun to fester—perhaps the longing for safety was itself just another kind of violence—a violence of cowardice, silence, submission.  What was safety, anyway, but the sound of a bomb falling on someone else’s home?”

My first novel of the year was an American dystopia set in the latter half of this century.  It was another debut book by a new author, and again so good!  “Haunting” is a word that might best describe the plot and especially the main character, Sarat. 

In the story, the U.S. is in the midst of its Second Civil War—brought on by devastating climate change—and the southern states are rebelling against the ban on oil and the control of a drone-powered northern government.  When Sarat’s father is killed, she and her family are taken to Camp Patience, where she is ultimately radicalized and made into a weapon of war.  The story was slow at points, but always chilling—especially as it reminds you of what can happen when acts of revenge are allowed to continue in perpetuity.  It hits like a warning… a little too close to home for comfort, but worth reading for that exact reason. 

3.  Toughest People to Love: How to Understand, Lead, and Love the Difficult People in Your Life—Including Yourself, by Chuck DeGroat

“I’m convinced that in God’s economy of grace, nothing is wasted—not our failures, not even our biggest sins.”

I wrote a post inspired by this book shortly after I read it (you can read it here), so I won’t go into too much detail.  DeGroat writes most specifically to pastors or those who attempt to lead or love others out of a faith-filled life, but his concepts are applicable to anyone.  He writes very practically about different types of “difficult” people we encounter, how to maintain boundaries, what it means that we’re all children of God, and how we can foster emotional and spiritual health in ourselves.  In essence, he makes the point that we’re each a mess, but that trying for “perfection” is short-changing ourselves from the real fulfillment of compassion and wholeness.

4.  Leaving Church: A Memoir of Faith, by Barbara Brown Taylor

“I wanted to recover the kind of faith that has nothing to do with being sure what I believe and everything to do with trusting God to catch me though I am not sure of anything.”

I first heard of Barbara Brown Taylor through her reputation as a phenomenal preacher (I have listened to her sermons—the reputation is well-deserved).  Turns out she is also a wonderful writer.  She has many books that I’m now eager to read, but her memoir was a highlight for me in 2019.  It is the tale of her call to ministry, the struggles of pastoral self-care, growing graciously with God even when it meant hard changes, and settling into the “living practice” of faith.  Her writing style is reminiscent of Barbara Kingsolver, full of transparency, wit, and practical wisdom.  

 

5.  Us Against You, by Fredrik Backman

“The complicated thing about good people and bad people alike is that most of us can be both at the same time.”

I was so excited to read Backman’s sequel to the novel I loved so much last year (Beartown).  And while it’s nearly as good as its predecessor, it’s still miles ahead of most fiction.  Backman has a way of embracing the messy humanity of his characters and fleshing out the grit of local culture, relationships, and loyalties. 

The story starts in the wake of the fallout in Beartown, where some in the community have left for the nearby rival town of Hed.  It follows a family trying to heal, a hockey team threatening to shut down, and the question of whether something can go back to being as simple as “us vs. you” in a game that’s been complicated by politics, money, and severed ties.  You may not relate to the plot or the setting, but you’ll relate to the characters and be all the better for it. 

6.  True Colors, by Kristin Hannah

“…remember we’re sisters.”

In addition to Backman’s novel, I also got to read a second book by Kristin Hannah this year.  It was a perfect summer read.  I was excited to find that it was set on a ranch in Western Washington, complete with horses and wet weather and a family of sisters (as I’ve had a taste of all of those things), and it was yet another (like Us Against You) that felt grounded in its place and its characters.  The story focuses on the three sisters and their relationships with three men in their lives—their father, the “boy next door,” and an unexpected visitor that comes to town and turns their whole lives upside down.    

7.  Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life, by Emily Nagoski

“I wrote this book to share the science, stories, and sex-positive insights that prove to us that, despite our culture’s vested interest in making us feel broken, dysfunctional, unlovely, and unlovable, we are in fact fully capable of confident, joyful sex.”

This is a book written by a woman for other women.  Well, mostly—men can definitely get some helpful insights out of it as well!  But truly, it was an extraordinary read for someone like me who had very little insight about sex until adulthood and is still figuring it out. 

We can be honest here:  the cultural messages women get around sex are pretty shitty.  And, as Nagoski writes, it’s easy to assume that female sexuality is basically “Men’s Sexuality Lite.”  Not so, it turns out.  Matt and I read this book together and discovered lots of things about relationships, how bodies are wired, and what we can do to make our marriage better and more honoring to who each of us is.  

8.  Changing Our Mind, by David P. Gushee

“…in this book I am asking whether the Church should change our mind and our practices in relation to Christian LGBTQ people and their relationships—not because we are under pressure from a hostile culture to do so, but because within the terms of our own faith we might now conclude that this is one of those cases in 2,000 years of Christian history where we have gotten some things wrong.”

David Gushee is a well-respected evangelical ethicist who, at one time, agreed with the historical Christian tradition that says same-sex relationships are considered by God to be sinful.  In this book, he takes readers step-by-step through many of the reasons for this perspective, including the Biblical texts that speak about “homosexuality,” and challenges the literary and contextual assumptions we’ve made in the past.  He also honors the authority of experience, concluding that the Church should—as we did with slavery and anti-Semitism—repent of our historical understanding and treatment of our LGBTQ brothers and sisters, and advocate for their full inclusion in the Church.  Whether or not you agree with Gushee’s conclusions, I would encourage all Christians to read and at least consider what he has to say.   

9.  The End of Apologetics: Christian Witness in a Postmodern Context, by Myron Bradley Penner

“There are times and ways in which a given ‘defense’ of the faith does more harm than good to the cause of Christ.”

1 Peter 3:15 says, “Always be ready to make your defense to anyone who demands from you an accounting for the hope that is in you.”  For quite a while, giving that defense has meant having all your arguments for God lined up in such a way as to logically overwhelm your doubting opponent.  I’ve actually hated the notion of apologetics (giving an “apology,” or defense of faith) for a long time for that reason—because no one’s heart is changed just because you can out-argue them about the existence of God.  Penner makes the point in this book, though, that arguing to “win” is the exact opposite of apologetics, because the goal of the gospel is never to put anyone else down.  He talks a lot about “truth,” ethics, and defending the faith by actually living it rather than being able to talk about it like an expert.

10.  And Baby Makes Three: The Six-Step Plan for Preserving Marital Intimacy and Rekindling Romance After Baby Arrives, by John and Julie Gottman

“The greatest gift you can give your baby is a happy and strong relationship between the two of you.”

Matt and I have been talking more and more in the past several months about what it would be like to have a baby.  Aside from the fact that we’ve been in grad school for a thousand years now, our biggest concern has been how another tiny human will affect our marriage—which for the past seven years has been amazing.  But as the saying goes, “Babies change everything,” along with my personal not-so-favorite, “You’ll never be ready to have a kid.”  I assume this is true, and still… we want to be more ready than just not ready at all when we do decide to start trying.  So when we heard about this book, we decided to make it a priority to read. 

John Gottman is a renowned relationship researcher and author from Seattle, WA.  He and his wife, Julie, co-wrote this book after they had their first child, heard from lots of other new parents, and decided to do several years of research on the subject.  As you might imagine (or have already experienced), the transition into parenthood can put a lot of strain on a marriage.  Fortunately, the Gottmans distilled six key factors that couples who made the transition well had in common—particularly in terms of how to handle conflict—and laid them out in this book.  Knowing that we want to remain a strong team after we have kids, Matt and I are both so grateful to have read it!