Twice more in 2021 I had
the privilege of preaching at First Presbyterian Church SLC. These sermons were
each part of a series—the first called “Immerse Beginnings” where we studied from
the first five books of the Bible (known as the Torah or Pentateuch), and the second
from our Advent series looking at different characters in the biblical
Christmas narrative. Both sermon texts are about people at the crossroads. And
both stories point to the near-unbelievable reality that Christ desires to be
in, with, and through us in all things.
Friday, December 31, 2021
god with us, christ in us
Tuesday, November 30, 2021
gratitude in a pandemic
It’s been a hell of a
year, right? (Or should I say nearly two now—can you believe it?!) I’m pretty sure that at the start of 2020 none
of us thought to ourselves, “I wonder if we’ll get hit with a global pandemic this
year that’ll stagger the economy, isolate us from our loved ones for months, and
cause us to wear masks everywhere and hoard rolls of toilet paper because they’ll
be sold out at Costco…”
“Sing praises to the Lord, O you his faithful ones, and give thanks to his holy name.” -Psalm 30:4
“O give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever.” -Psalm 136:1
“…give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” -1 Thessalonians 5:18
- For my husband… he is the best human and companion I could ever ask for (11.9.20)
- For the people who are doing the hard work for racial justice (11.12.20)
- For heaters that allow us to do safe family dinners outside in Jen and Ty’s carport (11.13.20)
- For opportunities to preach at MOPC and in Richfield (11.18.20)
- For Matt bringing me coffee in bed (12.8.20)
- For getting my first COVID vaccine shot! (1.6.21)
- For warmth and a safe place to live (2.17.21)
- For my parents and the ways they love me and my siblings (2.19.21)
- For my CPE group and all the insights and wisdom that come out of our time together (3.3.21)
- That I am learning to accept limits and boundaries, to have grace, to be vulnerable and genuine, to listen well and not always “fix” but sit compassionately with pain… even my own (3.31.21)
- For hugs from my dad and laughs with Jess all weekend (4.26.21)
- For a walk with the dogs yesterday with Karina and Sher (5.30.21)
- For my amazing job at FPC and all the great people there (7.23.21)
- For the friends we have and the ones we have yet to make (7.27.21)
- For our D&D group and having other adults in the world who love to just PLAY (8.20.21)
- For the peace that comes with trusting God and knowing that where I am in this moment is exactly where I’m supposed to be (8.30.21)
- That Matt and I have enjoyed 9 wonderful years of marriage! (9.23.21)
- For fall weather and yellow leaves (10.29.21)
- For the love of God and all the ways he blesses my life with gifts—seen and unseen (11.30.21)
There have been many, many
more… and it’s good for my soul to look over them from time to time. It reminds me that even in the stress of the
last twenty-one months, God is still present and giving me many reasons for joy. I hope you’ve found that to be true as well!
I’d love to hear what you’re
season of Thanksgiving has been like as well.
What are you grateful for this year?
Wednesday, September 22, 2021
beneath the stained glass: service & sermons at first pres salt lake
Three months ago, I was
preparing to take a Stated Supply Pastor position in a small town in central
Utah. That is, until a few details
failed to work out and it unexpectedly fell through. I wasn’t sure how to feel about it or what
was going to happen next. It was all a
bit of a shock. I had just finished my
Master of Divinity degree and been certified “eligible to receive a call” by my
ordination committee. It had seemed like
the next right step… until it wasn’t.
Then, less than a week
later, I got a voicemail from the Associate Pastor at First Presbyterian Church
in Salt Lake City (a former mentor in my ordination process) asking if I’d like
to come work with her at the church as a Pastoral Associate. Not a called position, only temporary and
part-time, but a chance to do pastoral ministry in a historic church with
incredible pastors and staff and a committed congregation. It was as if God winked at me and said, “Did
you really think I didn’t have a plan?”
I’m pretty sure I danced
like a fool in my kitchen that afternoon.
And talk about being
overwhelmed by grace! These last three
months have been amazing…
I’ve learned so much
about the ins-and-outs of daily, practical ministry.
I’ve met many wonderful and passionate people.
I’ve been able to lead worship, events, and volunteer trainings.
I’ve had meetings with intelligent, prayerful church members who care deeply about the life and health of our community.
I’ve sat on the floor with preschoolers drawing and talking about God’s creation, and at tables with college students processing transitions.
I’ve preached several Sundays.
I’ve been offered ridiculous amounts of affirmation and encouragement.
And every time I go into the sanctuary, I’m struck by how awesome it is to look at our beautiful stained-glass windows.
Regardless of what
happens next, what’s been happening now is a gift.
As I love getting to
study and preach, I’ve made a habit of posting my sermons here (for wisdom,
interest, feedback… whatever folks would like to make of them). In the thick of it all I’m three sermons
behind, so rather than post the entire things, here are some teasers and major
thoughts from Amos, Ephesians, and Genesis:
True Worship (Amos 5:21-24)
Imagine someone showed up
in the middle of your Sunday worship service and said, on behalf of God:
I’ve met many wonderful and passionate people.
I’ve been able to lead worship, events, and volunteer trainings.
I’ve had meetings with intelligent, prayerful church members who care deeply about the life and health of our community.
I’ve sat on the floor with preschoolers drawing and talking about God’s creation, and at tables with college students processing transitions.
I’ve preached several Sundays.
I’ve been offered ridiculous amounts of affirmation and encouragement.
And every time I go into the sanctuary, I’m struck by how awesome it is to look at our beautiful stained-glass windows.
“I despise what’s happening here.
I take no pleasure in your religious holidays and celebrations.
I won’t accept your confessions or your thanksgivings.
Your liturgy and your sacraments mean nothing to me.
I refuse to listen to your songs or your prayers.”
“Let justice roll down like waters, and righteousness like an ever-flowing stream.” (Amos 5:24)
“But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. For he is our peace; in his flesh he has made both groups into one and has broken down the dividing wall, that is, the hostility between us.” (Ephesians 2:13-14)
“I will make you into a great nation. I will bless you and make you famous, and you will be a blessing to others. I will bless those who bless you and curse those who treat you with contempt. All the families on earth will be blessed through you.” (vv. 2-3)
Monday, August 2, 2021
lessons i learned in cpe: #5. it's easy for other people's baggage to get caught on your own baggage
During my unit of CPE at
St. Mark’s I spent a lot of time in hospital rooms, but also with my peers and
supervisor in group sessions twice a week.
We each processed our experiences of chaplaincy in detail. As it turned out, we ended up talking as much
about our own stories, flaws, and fears as we did the patients. It was enlightening and terrifying. But it taught me another important lesson
when it comes to vulnerable conversations…
It’s easy for other
people’s baggage to get caught on your own baggage.
I definitely hadn’t
expected this going in. I’d done a fair
share of processing my own emotional and spiritual baggage before this
internship began—learning about my personality, my strengths and weaknesses,
how my childhood experiences with addiction and divorce and being the oldest
child shaped my coping mechanisms and social habits, etc. I thought I had a pretty strong sense of who
I was… enough to “keep myself out” of the conversations with patients and just
focus on them.
Big mistake.
The truth is: no
matter how hard we try, we bring our whole selves—baggage and all—everywhere we
go, including conversations with other people. As I wrote in “Lesson #1,” everyone
has a story, and our stories shape who we are (in both good and bad ways). When other people’s stories remind us of our
own, it impacts how we feel and how we’re able to respond.
One of the most formative—and
informative—exercises we did as part of our CPE group work was called a “verbatim.” Each of us, several times over the course of
the internship, wrote out word-for-word (as best we could recall) a spiritual
care conversation we had with a patient during our clinical hours. We then brought these verbatims to our group
and spent an hour evaluating each one together.
The patient remained anonymous, but we noted in the written assignment:
- Some basic demographic information,- Our first impressions when we walked in the room,- Our thoughts and feelings throughout the conversation based on the verbal and nonverbal interactions,- Our assessment of the individual’s spiritual care needs, and- How we thought we “did” as spiritual caregivers (our strengths and areas of growth).
Since that experience
(and many others like it), I’ve had a lot of time to reflect on the reality
that my history has affected me in the past, but is also still affecting
me now in ways I might otherwise prefer to ignore. No matter how much work we’ve done to grow
through our experiences, they still have an impact on how we relate to the
world—“who we are” in relationship to other people—for better or worse. None of us can truly be an unbiased third
party.
And the best response to
that is not to “try harder, stupid.”
That goes back to “Lesson #3” about how burying our baggage or
pain is ultimately damaging. You won’t
being able to receive others’ thorny personalities and stories any easier by
pretending your own thorns don’t exist—they’ll just get tangled on one another
regardless. BUT we can learn to
have grace and make space.
When you notice that someone’s
behavior or stories are making you uncomfortable or hitting raw nerves, let that
show you where you still have work to do in addressing your own baggage…
and then learn to practice self-compassion.
Give yourself permission
to feel whatever’s coming up in those moments.
Ask yourself what’s behind it. What
assumptions did I make about that person?
Why did that comment make me angry (or sad, or scared, etc.)? Why did I feel like I needed to react in that
way? Who taught me to believe whatever I
just said? Be gentle with whatever
you discover. Then, even if there’s more
to work through, your ability to identify and be compassionate with yourself in
whatever is coming up will make it much easier to receive whatever the other
person is bringing to the table.
I realize that could sound
overly simplistic, but it’s not. It’s
hard to be fully aware of yourself when you’re trying to keep your focus on
someone else. But it can and does make a
difference. I’ve still got a long way to
go, but it certainly has for me.
Friday, June 18, 2021
lessons i learned in cpe: #4. showing up is more important than knowing what to say
Since the start of
January when my chaplaincy internship at St. Mark’s Hospital began, I’ve been
in a process of reflection about how we as humans relate to one another—and particularly
how we deal with grief and pain. There were
some wonderful “lessons learned” through that experience, and hopefully they’ll
be as helpful for you as they have been for me.
If you’re interested in
Lessons 1-3, please click here, here, and here
(respectively). And without further ado... Lesson #4:
Showing up is more
important than knowing what to say.
You know the situation that’s
implied here, right?
Someone lost a loved one.
Someone lost a job.
Someone got a bad diagnosis.
Someone got divorced.
Someone is suffering with depression.
Someone’s kid just got incarcerated.
Someone’s humiliating secret just got shared...
That kind of situation.
I heard about a lot
of these from patients in hospital rooms.
Even if it had nothing to do with why they were there, they needed to
talk about them anyway. And it’s nice
when someone shows up to listen or pray or help process.
It’s possible that this
lesson’s phrase may not be new to you, but perhaps the practice of the phrase
still is. Some individuals are loving
comforters by nature (these people are saints—don’t take them for granted), but
many of us struggle when the people around us are in pain. We may feel sad or awkward. We don’t know what that person needs. We don’t know what to say. We don’t know whether to acknowledge the elephant
in the room or try to make them feel better about it or avoid it altogether. We don’t know if it’s rude of us to be happy
or “normal” around them. We worry about
saying the wrong thing, so we choose to stay away. We “give them time” or “let them have their
space.” We don’t show up.
Let me tell you a little
secret: that kind of avoidance speaks more to your discomfort than it
does to their suffering.
I’m not judging anyone
here, by the way. I do the same thing all the time. I’d rather people think of me as a kind and
thoughtful person so if there’s a chance that I’m going to accidentally offend or
burden someone, it’s safer to save our interactions for circumstances that are
more predictable. At the very least,
it’s easier for me.
But it’s precisely that ease
that makes it very lonely for the person who is experiencing the pain. I can tell myself it’s about them, but odds
are it really isn’t. Unless they’ve
specifically asked for space or time, it usually means a lot to people to know
that someone is willing to sit in the boat with them and ride out the storm. We humans are relational creatures. One of the first things God said is, “It
is not good for the man [or humans in general] to be alone” (Genesis
2:18).
Don’t kick yourself if
you’ve messed this up in the past. I
think it’s safe to say we all have, and still do. And over-bearing concern (the other
end of this spectrum) doesn’t help a lot either. It’s not your job to fix
them or their situation. Seriously,
not your job. Empathizing to the point
of taking on someone else’s pain is not going to help them. It’s just going to make them feel like they
need to comfort you and that’s not their job. You’re not their Savior. That’s Jesus’ job.
But please, when you see
someone you love—or even someone you know—who’s in pain or struggling with something,
don’t walk in the other direction. Just
show up... even if you don’t know what to say.
And in case you’re really
bothered by that and are looking for some pointers to keep in your pocket, here
are a few suggestions:
Please DO NOT say:
Someone lost a job.
Someone got a bad diagnosis.
Someone got divorced.
Someone is suffering with depression.
Someone’s kid just got incarcerated.
Someone’s humiliating secret just got shared...
“Everything happens for a reason,” or “It’s all in God’s will.” Even if this is part of your theology, it is not what they need to hear right now.
“At least… [fill in the blank here].” Looking on “the bright side” will not help them work through their pain; it just encourages them to bury it.
“Just give it time.” While the expression “time heals all wounds” may carry some truth, they’re still in this moment when it still hurts. Acknowledge that instead.
“You’ll get over it.” No, no, no, no, no. People don’t just “get over” things. But they can learn to incorporate them into their larger stories if given the opportunity to do so.
“Let me know if you need anything.” This one may sound surprising (and there may also be times for an exception), but in general, when you say this, you’re putting the burden on them to reach out for support if they need it. The truth is, they do need it. And by showing up before being asked you’ll be doing a lot more good.
“I don’t know what to say . . . but I’m here for you regardless.”
“I know this sucks, and I love you.”
“It’s okay to be sad/angry/confused/numb/[whatever it is that they’re feeling].”
“Do you want to talk about what happened? (And, if not, that’s okay, too.)”
“Here, I brought you food. Would you like me to stay? If not, I’m happy to drop it off and check in again some other time.”
“For if they fall, one will lift up the other;
but woe to one who is alone and falls and does not have another to help.”
–Ecclesiastes
4:10
Wednesday, June 16, 2021
midway between heaven and earth: a sermon from psalm 8
If you’ve never been to Utah before, here is my shameless plug that you should
come visit. Seriously. Northern Utah, southern Utah—it doesn’t
matter. You either get incredible
mountains or gorgeous red rock canyons.
It’s all beautiful. See for yourselves:
This
is our second time living in Salt Lake City; and while I miss Washington and
everyone in it so much, it’s always a treat to be less than 20 minutes
from 4 different ski resorts and 30+ different hiking trails. And it’s in that context that when I was invited
to preach at First Presbyterian Church in Logan, I chose Psalm 8 as the text
for the sermon. I’ve edited it a bit
(writing and speaking have their differences), but here was the Word for the
day…
If
you were to take a Bible and flip it open right down the middle, odds are that
you would probably land yourself in the book of Psalms. This book is a wide collection of poems,
songs, histories, and laments that the people of Israel used in their worship. It is basically the prayer book of Judeo-Christian
tradition.
There
are several different forms of psalms in this book, but one of the most
predominant (along with prayers for help) are hymns of praise. And the first of these praise hymns that
we find in the book is Psalm 8 (also called a creation hymn), which goes
a little something like this:
1 O Lord, our Sovereign,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!
You have set your glory above the heavens.
2 Out of the mouths of babes and infants
you have founded a bulwark because of your foes,
to silence the enemy and the avenger.
3 When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars that you have established;
4 what are human beings that you are mindful of them,
mortals that you care for them?
5 Yet you have made them a little lower than God,
and crowned them with glory and honor.
6 You have given them dominion over the works of your hands;
you have put all things under their feet,
7 all sheep and oxen,
and also the beasts of the field,
8 the birds of the air, and the fish of the sea,
whatever passes along the paths of the seas.
9 O Lord, our Sovereign,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!
When we look at this psalm, there are two important poetic features we should take into account to start. Why? Well, because I’m a nerd who finds the technical literary aspects of Scripture fascinating (and this is my blog so I can call attention to whatever I want 😉).
But more importantly, it’s because understanding some of the elements of Hebrew poetry in the Psalms can give us not only a deeper appreciation for how beautiful they are, but also insight into what the psalmist was trying to convey in the poem itself. And that can help us interpret the significance and meaning of the psalm for our time and place.
So, poetic device #1: the inclusio.
Psalm 8 starts with an emphatic shout-out of praise to God:
“O Lord, our Sovereign, how majestic is your name in all the earth!”
And (you may have noticed) this is the same way the psalm ends. Verse 9 repeats:
“O Lord, our Sovereign, how majestic is your name in all the earth!”
This repetition is a handy device in Hebrew poetry called an inclusio. What it means is that the first and last verses “include” or “bookend” the rest of the text. So the whole poem begins and ends—and contains—praise for the majesty of God “in all the earth.”
Notice
the psalm doesn’t just say “in all of Israel.”
It says, “in all the earth.”
This stakes the claim that Yahweh (who is called “the God of Israel”) isn’t
just the God of one nation, but the God of all the nations. He isn’t just one God among many that
deserves praise, but the only God—the Creator God, the Lord, the one who
rules over everything that has been made from “above the heavens” to “whatever
passes along the paths of the seas.” Look out the window at whatever landscape
surrounds you. The God who created that
is the God we’re praising in this psalm.
Here
in Salt Lake City, I can see the Wasatch Mountain range right outside my door. Just two weeks ago, I was on top of Grandeur
Peak with a 360-degree view in every direction.
We miss that beauty most of the time—take it for granted, even—but the ways
in which creation echoes the majesty of God is exactly what the psalmist is
calling attention to in this psalm. It’s
so important that he (or she) says it twice, at both the beginning and end of
the song: “O Lord, our Sovereign, how majestic is your name in all
the earth!”
*****
1 O Lord, our Sovereign,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!
You have set your glory above the heavens.
2 Out of the mouths of babes and infants
you have founded a bulwark because of your foes,
to silence the enemy and the avenger.
3 When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars that you have established;
4 what are human beings that you are mindful of them,
mortals that you care for them?
5 Yet you have made them a little lower than God,
and crowned them with glory and honor.
6 You have given them dominion over the works of your hands;
you have put all things under their feet,
7 all sheep and oxen,
and also the beasts of the field,
8 the birds of the air, and the fish of the sea,
whatever passes along the paths of the seas.
9 O Lord, our Sovereign,
how majestic is your name in all the earth!
When we look at this psalm, there are two important poetic features we should take into account to start. Why? Well, because I’m a nerd who finds the technical literary aspects of Scripture fascinating (and this is my blog so I can call attention to whatever I want 😉).
But more importantly, it’s because understanding some of the elements of Hebrew poetry in the Psalms can give us not only a deeper appreciation for how beautiful they are, but also insight into what the psalmist was trying to convey in the poem itself. And that can help us interpret the significance and meaning of the psalm for our time and place.
So, poetic device #1: the inclusio.
Psalm 8 starts with an emphatic shout-out of praise to God:
“O Lord, our Sovereign, how majestic is your name in all the earth!”
And (you may have noticed) this is the same way the psalm ends. Verse 9 repeats:
“O Lord, our Sovereign, how majestic is your name in all the earth!”
This repetition is a handy device in Hebrew poetry called an inclusio. What it means is that the first and last verses “include” or “bookend” the rest of the text. So the whole poem begins and ends—and contains—praise for the majesty of God “in all the earth.”
![]() |
View of Mt. Olympus & Salt Lake City from Grandeur Peak |
In
between this inclusio, there are many other themes that the psalm
highlights…
There’s the creation language of “heavens and earth” that reminds us of Genesis 1 and 2.
There’s the royal language of “Sovereign” and “majesty” that establishes God’s rule over the earth.
There’s the role of humans in having dominion over that earth and the works of God’s hands.
When we look at this form in Psalm 8, take
a look at what we find directly in the center:
V. 1: The majesty of God (“O
Lord,
our Sovereign, how majestic is your name in all the earth!”)
Vv. 2-3: Elements of God’s creation (“the mouths of babes and infants… the moon and stars.”)
Vv. 4-5: The glory of humans (“What are human beings… a little lower than God.”)
Vv. 6-8: Elements of God’s creation (“the beasts of the field… the birds of the air.”)
V. 9: The majesty of God (“O
Lord,
our Sovereign, how majestic is your name in all the earth!”)
It’s us.
We find us.
In the midst of the magnitude of God’s glory and
all of creation, the psalmist points us directly inward and begs the question: Who are we?
Who are we, God, that you would think of
us, much less care about us?
“What are human beings that you are mindful of them?”
Truthfully, humans are like tiny specks of dirt
in the middle of the vast and wild universe.
We have very breakable bodies, and an almost insignificant lifespan in
the context of history. And, if we’re
honest, we’re a little bit of a mess at least some (if not most) of the
time. There is plenty of reason for us
to have no more value than any other living thing God created.
And yet… we stand at the very center of God’s
creation, having been made “just a little lower than God, and crowned… with
glory and honor.” Midway between
heaven and earth. A little lower than God
and with all creation under our feet.
We start and end this psalm by
giving glory to God, and yet what we find is that, for some unfathomable
reason, God has given it back to us. One
of the reasons I love this psalm so much is that it strikes at the core of
our human identity—our relationship with God and the rest of the world.
So, what does that mean then? What does it mean for how we’re intended to be in the world?
What does it look like to “have dominion” over the works of God’s hands?
How do we recognize each other as having been crowned with God’s glory and honor… especially if we’re different from one another, or don’t agree with what the other believes?
If there is one thing that this
psalm reminds us, it’s that God is Sovereign over all of creation, but that he
has also set us in the center of it and that what we do with that unique
position matters.
The problem with being the broken
human beings that we are is that we’ve had a tendency to take this glorified
role and abuse it. Our “dominion” has
turned into control and exploitation rather than the love and care and
stewardship that it was intended to be.
We see this in our relationships—in the ways humans constantly fight
with one another. And we see this
in the way we’ve mistreated the rest of creation and we are now finding
ourselves in an environmental climate crisis.
We clearly have not lived up to the honor and dignity that this role
assumes.
Sometimes I just want to throw my
hands up and say, “I don’t know, God… I don’t know how we can make such a mess
of things. I read this psalm of praise
and I’m baffled by it. Remind me again… What
are human beings that you are mindful of them?”
You and I may not feel
powerful, but this psalm reminds us that we are in the midst of the praise of
God (in the middle of the inclusio) and at the center of creation (the
crossroads of the chiasm). We have been
gifted a ridiculous amount of power for good and evil in this world… but how
do we stand in that holy place in the way that God intended?
In verses 5 and 6, the psalm says:
“What are human beings that you are mindful of them?”
So, what does that mean then? What does it mean for how we’re intended to be in the world?
What does it look like to “have dominion” over the works of God’s hands?
How do we recognize each other as having been crowned with God’s glory and honor… especially if we’re different from one another, or don’t agree with what the other believes?
“YOU have made humans a little lower than God,
and crowned them with glory and honor.
YOU have given them dominion over the works of your hands;
YOU have put all things under their feet.”
Before we can stand in right relationship to one another and the rest of creation, we have to stand in right relationship with our Creator.
He is the one who has crowned us with glory and honor and calls us “Beloved.”
Tuesday, May 25, 2021
lessons i learned in cpe: #3. it's okay to acknowledge pain
My CPE (i.e., chaplaincy)
unit at St. Mark’s Hospital ended a month ago.
It’s amazing how much time has already flown by. That said, I’m pretty sure these “lessons” I learned
in the process will stay with me for the rest of my life. Some of them are harder than others, and they
may resonate with you or not—it’s okay either way.
For previous posts,
please see:
I’m not suggesting that acknowledging pain makes it go away. But hiding it will make it linger, and can even let it grow. Alternatively, bringing it out of the shadows can invite our pain into a space of compassion and restoration. We don’t have to “go it alone” or “sweep it under the rug.” (We all know those were never great solutions to start.)
[1] Transforming Pain — A Daily Meditation by Fr. Richard Rohr (cac.org)